Day 82 - Ill, but ok

Hi there,

Woke up at 6'0 clock. Feeling ill and sweaty. Couldn't sleep, so I decided to do answer some email that had been piling up the last week. I finished at 9 and watched a few episodes of Californication, before I got out of bed.

Went to the rolfing massage guy again and got stuck in traffic.

In the evening I bleached my hair to a whiter shade (of pale?) haha.

It worked out ok, not very good, but ok. It's always hard to get a uniform shade.

I feel less ill now, hope I sleep better tonight and get the room finished tomorrow.

Bye,

Alex

Day 81 - No planning yet

Hi All,

Got up around 14.00 today. Got to bed around 5.00 the day before. I went to a friend to go to a shop specialised in hair products. We needed something to bleach the roots of my hair. He will come by tomorrow to do so. I did not make a planning for the rest of the week today, but I will share what I have in mind so far:

Tomorrow: 

alarm clock at 10.30, 15-30 minutes of light therapy.

Finished showering/breakfast around 13.00

travelling to Rolfing practitioner for massage around 14.00.

Returning home around 16.00

Cleaning up room until dinner

21.00: meeting with hairdresser for root touch up

Wednesday:

Alarm clock at 9.30, light therapy.

Cleaning up room untill finished

Afterwards I'm free to do what I want

sleep around 01.00

Thursday:

Alarm clock at 9.30, light therapy.

Meeting with a friend entire day

Working in a bar in the evening/night.

I've realised this week isn't going to be my week full of exercise and without any alcohol. I will do so next week. I'm not ready for it yet. Let's see this week as a starter. 

Regards,

Alexander

Day 80 - New start

Hi There,
I'm back

I didn't feel like posting for a while but I want you to know that I will restart posting from now on. I've noticed it makes me feel more on track when I share what I'm up to with you guys.

The current situation: I've partyed a lot, returned home very late (around 8.00) sometimes and I drank a lot of beer. I've met interesting people but I also had to deal with some rejections in the field of love. Overall it was good, but I need to recover and regain some structure: The room is a mess, mails are piling up, energy is low and I get irritated easily.

The good news:
I still feel positive and I made some career plans. I decided I want to work for TV for a particular network. I've shared this idea with a lot of people in bars, and returned home with some interesting connections with people in the field. Today I got an idea for a new program. I will make a pilot of it and I will sent this with my cover letter.

In addition to this, in my "week of partying" I've bought a bunch of new clothes. I've added some more pieces to my collection in the weeks after, and I'm proud to say that I'm building a complete new wardrobe. I've also dyed my hair blonde. These things together with my new state of mind (positive and youthful) help to form my new identity: I feel like a changed man.

The plan:
A week of structure and discipline.
This includes: sleeping at normal times, cleaning up the room, drinking less, eating healthy and making plans for my new career/life.

I'll make the plan tomorrow.

See ya,
Alexander

Day 43 - Partying

Vacation was ok but not great. It rained a lot and the driving was too much for such a short holiday: a one week stay at a cabin took 4400 km's of driving.

When I returned home I noticed a big party week was going on in the town I live in. It was organised by the student societies to welcome new students and to gain new members. This is done every year. I decided to participate completely in the partying. It gave me a lot of energy to meet all kinds of new people. I laughed a lot and had interesting conversations.  I slept 4 hours a day all week and slept even less yesterday, when I returned home at 7.40. 

I had to get up at 11 today to get to my Rolfing appointment (see Day 12 - Painful massage).

The massage was painful and emotional. There were spots that lead to vigorous crying. I had no idea why. They triggered no particular memory but just led to a wave of tears rising in me.

This crying subsided after a minute and returned a few times during the session.

Clearing of emotional blockages? Sensory overload? Whatever you believe. I don't care. I just know what happened, and cannot explain why it occurred, but afterwards I felt good and strong, and that is the only thing that is important.

But, as you all can imagine: I am completely exhausted at the moment due to the booze and the lack of proper sleep. 

Therefore I will go to bed early tonight, probably around 22.00.

Such a shame life doesn't consist of partying each night. That would be so great.

But there's nothing I can do about it, the party week is over and you cannot party all day forever. There are things that need to be done.

But I really miss it, allready.... 

Day 28 - Overheated

I had a bad sleep of about 5 hours and I drove 1040 kilometers today. We left at 11.15 and arrived at 22.00 hours. I had only three 5 minute breaks and a 30 minute dinner break. It wasn't easy on the car. The outside temperatures of 32 degrees centigrade combined with the speed at which we drove left the car overheated multiple times. When we stopped for a rest, we couldn't start the car until it had cooled down. The starter engine jammed completely. Fortunately the outside temperatures will be lower then today the following days, so I expect less problems. Nevertheless, this issue needs to be fixed. I believe it's probably a clogged radiator or some mailfunction in the pump. Tomorrow I have to drive 657 km's. Sounds like an easy job, but the TomTom says it will take 8.24 hours. This slow speed of travelling is because of the type of the roads. I hope I will leave this hotel before 11.30, and will arrive at the hostel before 22.00. 

Day 27 - Ready for holiday?

Stressy day, buying the last groceries, packing the bags and looking forward to a 12 hour drive tomorrow. I wasn't looking forward to this holiday very much, but now I can't wait to be there. I want to see what a week in a relaxed enviroment can bring me.

Hope to write tomorrow from my hotel.

Day 26 - Holiday number two is approaching

Hi All,

I had my birthday somewhere in the last days. It was a bit lonely and accompanied with some conflicts with my parents, which gave me a very negative mood. Today I met with a friend, which made my mood swing back to the positive. I am however still tired and have to pack all my stuff tomorrow for a 10 day during holiday. Thursday I'll be the driver that will travel about 1000 km's. It's a good idea if I just go to bed now so I'll be as rested as possible. I'll probably write some better content tomorrow, so see you then,

Bye,

Alex